One of the headline stories in the newspapers today is about the parents of a girl tragically killed in a car crash who have said that they will forgive the driver of the car on three conditions:
- He makes his life meaningful and “does something great with his hands, head or heart”.
- Helps kids as a soccer coach, Scout leader or other volunteer.
- Tells the truth about the crash.
Many people are applauding these sentiments, but the question I ask is this: What is the cost of Unforgiveness for these parents?
Surely, forgiveness, unconditional forgiveness, is ultimately the only way for them to deal with their grief and their pain. After all, unforgiveness has a way of eating away at the soul with bitterness, resentment and goodness knows what else – I know, I speak from experience.
The poor girl that has been lost can never be replaced, but putting a price on forgiveness, however noble the sentiment, can only add to the loss and increase the hurt that is already there.
As a Christian, I know that I have been forgiven beyond measure, and knowing that forgiveness makes it a little easier for me to forgive. This appreciation of forgiveness was demonstrated in Luke’s Gospel by the sinful woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and anointed them with expensive perfume. Jesus’ response: “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”
There is always a cost for forgiveness, and it may have to be a daily process at least for a time, but the cost and pain of unforgiveness costs immeasurably more.
